Death of the Critic

September 2016

How Much Do You Need To Play?

Written by: Tom Blaich

I’ve been playing games for a very long time. I’ve been reviewing them for years. And over this time, I’ve noticed a trend towards longer and longer games. As a player, this is a really exciting trend. I love the push towards a more intense, story-focused experience for a player. But at the same time, it is beginning to get a little out of hand. I’ve written about this before in regards to every games desire to have an expansive open world. It seems like every game wants to be an epic, 40 plus hour-long experience, following the chosen character as they save the world/galaxy/universe.

This raises an interesting question for reviewers. How much do we need to play?
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Nostalgia

Written by: Tom Blaich

Memory is a powerful thing. Especially precious memories. Every one of us has a certain set of things that remain precious to us over the years. We remember fondly the time that we first experience them, and we always look back to them. Be it a particular book, movie, album, song, or game, nostalgia is a powerful force that shapes our opinions and our tastes.

That being said, it has no place in criticism.
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Grow Up - Review

Written by: Tom Blaich

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It is refreshing to sit back and play something a little more relaxing every now and then. Coming off of several months of playing some fantastic, if relatively day and self-serious titles, an experience like
Grow Up can serve as a nice palate cleanser. A follow up to the 2015 title Grow Home, it tasks you with navigating an alien world as the robot B.U.D, attempting to reassemble your scattered ship at the behest of M.O.M, the AI in charge, so that your journey across the galaxy can continue unabated.

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blond - Review

Written by: Tom Blaich

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It’s been years since
Channel Orange, and fans everywhere have been eagerly awaiting the next project from Frank Ocean. Perhaps a little too fervently. But in the last few years, the world has changed. Music has changed. And I don’t know if any of us quite expected what we got. Blonde is simultaneously somber and rich, a eulogy for the childhood of his past. Ocean is growing up, coming to accept himself for who he is. It is melancholic and drawn out, forming only one part of an experience toiled over for years. There’s Blonde, a free magazine, and the visual album Endless that all come together as a part of his grand vision of who Frank Ocean is today.

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As Seen on the Internet - Review

Written by: Tom Blaich

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Futuristic is back for his sixth studio album. Chock full of corny, meme-rap lines on top of generic beats, it fails to impress in almost any way. It feels like a Soundcloud album that was accidentally released for purchase. And if you could not already tell, I did not like it.

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The Man from U.N.C.L.E - A Belated Review

Written by: Tom Blaich

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It makes a lot of sense to put Guy Ritchie in charge of a spy movie. He has always loved his surprise twists, clever dialogue, and witty banter. Instead of taking the helm of James Bond, he gets to reimagine the old television series of the same name. Henry Cavill plays the charismatic and cold American spy Napoleon Solo, across from the brooding and emotion Russian Illya Kuryakin, played by Armie Hammer. They are brought together through shared conflict and the presence of the East German woman Gaby, portrayed by Alicia Vikander, who they need to help find her father.

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Prima Donna - Review

Written by: Tom Blaich

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I’m an unapologetic fan of Vince Staples.
Summertime ’06 was my album of the year last year, edging out some really fantastic offerings to take my top spot. It carried with it a huge amount of raw emotional power that hit me like a punch in the gut, and still does, every time I listen to it. I’ve been eagerly awaiting his next project ever since. Prima Donna was not exactly what I expected. Short, strange, powerful, and so very Vince Staples, the album does a good job at giving you a hint of the new direction that he is taking himself in.

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Why Did I Watch That? - The Transporter: Refueled

Written by: Tom Blaich

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I watched a bad movie today. It is sort of a guilty pleasure of mine. Watching bad movies that is. I revel in the terrible plots, paper-thin characters, cheesy effects, and wooden acting. It fuels me. I love them in a way that I can’t quite describe, or feel about bad games or music. To me, bad films deserve to be recognized, talked about, and maybe occasionally ridiculed. This one is no exception.

The terrible movie was
The Transporter: Refueled, the fourth movie in the “beloved” Transporter franchise, and a quasi-reboot of the story. I say quasi because I have no damn idea if they are retconning the ridiculousness of the three Statham, movies, or if this is just one of Frank Martin’s past adventures that he had somehow forgotten about. Now it probably does not come as a shock to anyone that this is not a very good movie. The series has been in decline since they made the first.

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Jeffrey - Review

Written by: Tom Blaich

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I feel like I have had to offer a disclaimer when recommending Young thug to people over the last few months. Giving caveats to how much I liked
Slime Season 3. Only listen to this if you are in the mood for club tracks. Not for easy listening. And more of these same excuses to one of my favorite albums of the first half of the year. With the release of Jeffrey, Thugger seems to have matured. So I can finally say, without reservations, that you should listen to this album. He has dialed back the brash intensity for something far more personal, without loosing the energy and bombastic flair that makes Young Thug so much fun to listen to.

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The Backlog - Nuclear Throne

Written by: Tom Blaich

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I have a confession to make. Like many of you reading this, I have a list of games that I’ve been meaning play for years. I have way too many games on Steam, and a stack of cases sitting next to my TV. Close to five hundred games now. Maybe more. It makes me feel guilty. I haven’t touched 90% of them in one way or another. I need to fix that. So this week, I dug deep into my backlog and pulled out a game. I want to play all of them; I’ve just never had the chance. Now’s the time.

I landed on the twin-stick, rogue-like shooter
Nuclear Throne. A former early access game by Clamber, the critically acclaimed indie title has you taking control of one of a cavalcade of mutated freaks and monsters as you try to blast your way through dozens of disfigured enemies to reach your ultimate goal, the Nuclear Throne. There is no story. No character motivations. Only pure gameplay.

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Captain America: Civil War - A Belated Review

Written by: Tom Blaich

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I really wish that I had seen this movie in theaters. It took me a few months, but I finally managed to watch it now that it is out on DVD, having dodged spoilers since May, and some of the magic was lost for me. The climactic fight between the two sides felt strangely small and restrained, hidden behind the idea of superhero friends fighting each other. Carried by the threat of the villain, the MCU take on Baron Zemo. I feel like they missed their chance to expand upon some of the main heroes and their motivations. Why does Captain America so fervently believe that he is right? Iron Man’s motivations felt shallow and unfulfilling.

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Schlock - A Torrid Love Affair

Written by: Tom Blaich

For some reason, we love bad movies. Unlike any other form of media that we have, there is a fascination with truly awful movies. With the Sharknado’s and Troll 2’s of the world. To the point where there is an entire portion of the film industry focused on creating this D-level schlock. We don’t see this attitude in music or games. Terrible products are shunned in most industries but for some reason flourish in film. You can see a resemblance to the old, pulp paperbacks peddling in sleazy romance and smoky detective tales. Read More…
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